Thank you for this beautiful reflection, Ellie. What an enormous achievement -- 10 years of sobriety! Congratulations. I'm really intrigued by the connection you make between the defended self and the defended island.. It makes me think about the way that heartbreak at once opens us up too big, too wide, into unbearable pain, and then the horrible wish is to be able to find a way to close up, never get hurt again, even if it costs us empathy, connection, vulnerability. What then happens if that becomes a worldview, an expectation. How much easier to then objectify and denigrate the object that threatens us--human, cultural, ecological . . . to assume that to be assaulted and attacked is natural and inevitable and thus it's somehow rational to attack and defend first.
YES Rebecca, this is exactly it, exactly the dynamic I've become obsessed with tracing in both myself and the history of "civilization" (for want of a better word) and in particular the history of Englishness. Thank you for framing it in this beautiful way.
I am paid up follower Ellie, your writing is excellent and I look forward to it dropping into my in-box. I hope more people will pay you for this work. Just started my substack and I am hoping to write such blindingly interesting things that make a difference to people that they will eventually pay. We shall see. Anyway, keep up the amazing work and well done on your sobriety. Lasts open up the inner worlds…
Thank you so much for reading! And huge congratulations on your 7 1/2 years. All those present moments you've sat through in that time. What a gift to yourself and the world. x
Thanks so much for this. I do know that poem -- a perfect description of alcoholism and recovery, as well as the human predicament more broadly. Thank you for reminding me of it, and for reading. x
Thank you for this beautiful reflection, Ellie. What an enormous achievement -- 10 years of sobriety! Congratulations. I'm really intrigued by the connection you make between the defended self and the defended island.. It makes me think about the way that heartbreak at once opens us up too big, too wide, into unbearable pain, and then the horrible wish is to be able to find a way to close up, never get hurt again, even if it costs us empathy, connection, vulnerability. What then happens if that becomes a worldview, an expectation. How much easier to then objectify and denigrate the object that threatens us--human, cultural, ecological . . . to assume that to be assaulted and attacked is natural and inevitable and thus it's somehow rational to attack and defend first.
YES Rebecca, this is exactly it, exactly the dynamic I've become obsessed with tracing in both myself and the history of "civilization" (for want of a better word) and in particular the history of Englishness. Thank you for framing it in this beautiful way.
I am paid up follower Ellie, your writing is excellent and I look forward to it dropping into my in-box. I hope more people will pay you for this work. Just started my substack and I am hoping to write such blindingly interesting things that make a difference to people that they will eventually pay. We shall see. Anyway, keep up the amazing work and well done on your sobriety. Lasts open up the inner worlds…
Hi David, thank you so much for this, and for your kindness and support. I'm really grateful.
Congratulations on your 10 years! I've got about 7 1/2 myself. I love everything you shared here and agree with all of it. Thank you.
Thank you so much for reading! And huge congratulations on your 7 1/2 years. All those present moments you've sat through in that time. What a gift to yourself and the world. x
This post reminded me of a poem I first read many years ago.
It’s called “There’s a Hole in My Sidewalk” by Portia Nelson. Maybe you’re familiar with it. If not look it up. It’s worth a read.
The poem is a perfect capture of the human predicament. Our ways of thinking can be thought of as a hole we constantly fall into.
Thanks so much for this. I do know that poem -- a perfect description of alcoholism and recovery, as well as the human predicament more broadly. Thank you for reminding me of it, and for reading. x