' Maybe it's just the time of year, or maybe it's the time of man, I don't know who I am, but life is for learning' Joni Mitchell, Woodstock.
40 in many ways has felt like a staggered coming of age: no big party in lockdown, a breakup, but then, starting an MA which also has made me feel like I'm finally 'begining'. I've just turned 43, and after a weepy pre-birthday week, I found myself writing the lyric: ' You stay in bed to weep at it all, but you don't feel broken, you feel wise and new '. Not high poetry, but the flavour of it. I feel so much more connected to what matters these days, it's very sustaining, even in the hard bits.
I also really feel humanity is at a new beginning, we must be, because we're at and ending, and they are the same thing.
I love this, thank you. And yes to humanity being at a new beginning. Maybe humanity is having a midlife crisis of its own, and what comes next is a period of maturity and wisdom, after all our ego. 🤞🤞🤞
Glad you gave yourself that week to weep pre-birthday. Sometimes it’s essential. X
The Master said, “At fifteen, I set my heart on learning. At thirty, I found my balance [/stood firm]. At forty, I was free from doubts [about myself]. At fifty, I understood what Heaven intended me to do. At sixty, I was attuned to what I heard. At seventy, I followed what my heart desired without overstepping the line”
This is good, I think I might have been a late bloomer, so maybe everyones journey is different when it comes to age, I was in the early phase of family and motherhood when I was forty, and I think my turning 60 recently has a bit of the qualities of some peoples earlier birthdays. Due to being a bit slow :-D maybe. I still have doubts about myself, I have not fully understood what Heaven wants me to do, but I am grateful for the calm that has come to me with the years. It has nothing to do with slowing down or becoming more quiet. But some very screamy aspects of my life and emotions have calmed down, and I have more courage now I think, to take myself seriously. I love the threshold idea about 40 - maybe I am actually 40 also now, as well as 60 <3
I love this! The courage to take yourself seriously. And yes, I think any age can be a threshold if it feels like one, and am excited to think that 60 might be another xx
My forties were the post divorce years…the starting over years. More like twenties than forties in many ways. Fifties I was still searching. Started settling in my sixties and like Isa said, I feel less screamy now, though my voice has become almost too tentative. Every morning is a new threshold for me now.
Hi Dell, thank you for this. If you’re consciously navigating a threshold every morning, it sounds to me like you’re very alive and doing something very right x
I had no idea what was in store for me at 40. It was (yet another) late adolescence. I had just finished acupuncture training and set up Source Point Community Acupuncture on Dartmoor. At 42, I became a father. At 43 (I think) I published Sometimes a Wild God. At 44 I moved into a travelling storytelling theatre. At 48, with two sons, I left the world I had made.
Here at 51, the only thing that remains of that form of my life is the poem, and poetry, and my gorgeous sons. Life as a story has chapters, yes, but I'm unsure whether the waymarkers of antiquity hold true today. What I do know is that things start getting really interesting at 50. And, obviously, 42 will always have an uncanny power. Happy birthday, Ellie - I'm looking forward to catching up and throwing some nets into the sea of possibility when we meet.
Thanks for this, Tom. Cannot tell you how much I love hearing stories of life blossoming in these wild and unforeseen ways after 40. Let alone 50! Lots to look forward to.
Happy birthday! I'm about to turn 42. Turning 40, I felt younger than I had been at 29. Maybe because I've realized that the oldest age is not being here at all. Sending you many happy birthday wishes!
Thank you! This is exactly it, I feel SO much younger than I did at 30 and in some ways even 20. Thank you for putting your finger on that, and for your wisdom xx
' Maybe it's just the time of year, or maybe it's the time of man, I don't know who I am, but life is for learning' Joni Mitchell, Woodstock.
40 in many ways has felt like a staggered coming of age: no big party in lockdown, a breakup, but then, starting an MA which also has made me feel like I'm finally 'begining'. I've just turned 43, and after a weepy pre-birthday week, I found myself writing the lyric: ' You stay in bed to weep at it all, but you don't feel broken, you feel wise and new '. Not high poetry, but the flavour of it. I feel so much more connected to what matters these days, it's very sustaining, even in the hard bits.
I also really feel humanity is at a new beginning, we must be, because we're at and ending, and they are the same thing.
I love this, thank you. And yes to humanity being at a new beginning. Maybe humanity is having a midlife crisis of its own, and what comes next is a period of maturity and wisdom, after all our ego. 🤞🤞🤞
Glad you gave yourself that week to weep pre-birthday. Sometimes it’s essential. X
Here's one from the Confucian Analects:
The Master said, “At fifteen, I set my heart on learning. At thirty, I found my balance [/stood firm]. At forty, I was free from doubts [about myself]. At fifty, I understood what Heaven intended me to do. At sixty, I was attuned to what I heard. At seventy, I followed what my heart desired without overstepping the line”
Big hug and good luck!
This is good, I think I might have been a late bloomer, so maybe everyones journey is different when it comes to age, I was in the early phase of family and motherhood when I was forty, and I think my turning 60 recently has a bit of the qualities of some peoples earlier birthdays. Due to being a bit slow :-D maybe. I still have doubts about myself, I have not fully understood what Heaven wants me to do, but I am grateful for the calm that has come to me with the years. It has nothing to do with slowing down or becoming more quiet. But some very screamy aspects of my life and emotions have calmed down, and I have more courage now I think, to take myself seriously. I love the threshold idea about 40 - maybe I am actually 40 also now, as well as 60 <3
I love this! The courage to take yourself seriously. And yes, I think any age can be a threshold if it feels like one, and am excited to think that 60 might be another xx
Oooh I love this. Thank you! Though, I wish I had set my heart on something as worthwhile as learning when I was fifteen. X
My forties were the post divorce years…the starting over years. More like twenties than forties in many ways. Fifties I was still searching. Started settling in my sixties and like Isa said, I feel less screamy now, though my voice has become almost too tentative. Every morning is a new threshold for me now.
Hi Dell, thank you for this. If you’re consciously navigating a threshold every morning, it sounds to me like you’re very alive and doing something very right x
I had no idea what was in store for me at 40. It was (yet another) late adolescence. I had just finished acupuncture training and set up Source Point Community Acupuncture on Dartmoor. At 42, I became a father. At 43 (I think) I published Sometimes a Wild God. At 44 I moved into a travelling storytelling theatre. At 48, with two sons, I left the world I had made.
Here at 51, the only thing that remains of that form of my life is the poem, and poetry, and my gorgeous sons. Life as a story has chapters, yes, but I'm unsure whether the waymarkers of antiquity hold true today. What I do know is that things start getting really interesting at 50. And, obviously, 42 will always have an uncanny power. Happy birthday, Ellie - I'm looking forward to catching up and throwing some nets into the sea of possibility when we meet.
Thanks for this, Tom. Cannot tell you how much I love hearing stories of life blossoming in these wild and unforeseen ways after 40. Let alone 50! Lots to look forward to.
Happy birthday! I'm about to turn 42. Turning 40, I felt younger than I had been at 29. Maybe because I've realized that the oldest age is not being here at all. Sending you many happy birthday wishes!
Thank you! This is exactly it, I feel SO much younger than I did at 30 and in some ways even 20. Thank you for putting your finger on that, and for your wisdom xx